This May Be Satire Archive

CDC Reports Annual Flu Kills more than Mattis but it’s close.

(AP) Atlanta, GA June 4th, 2020 President Trump took to Twitter last night claiming retired Marine General James Mattis was “the world’s most overrated general” in response to the General’s criticism of the President’s behavior during recent unrest. To bolster his claim the President ordered the CDC, which maintains the nations leading database on mortality,

Leaked internal White House report indicates concern they’ve spent last year trying to undermine the Democratic candidate least capable of winning an election.

Anonymous WH Official: “We got so focused on asking whether we could sink his campaign, we forgot to ask whether we needed too."

Tactical Lautus

From the plains of Iberia to the forests of Tansalpine Gaul to the rugged hills of Parthia, iron greaves have been the leg-wear of choice for legionaries for centuries. Now GladiusFighter(tm) greaves, crafted from locally sourced artisanal double-smelted iron, take this tradition and multiply it by a factor of XIV! With straps made from virgin

Peace or War in Middle East now tied to Georgia 6th District Special Run-off Election

TLDR up Front: With tensions in the Middle East already running high after a ballistic missile launch by Iran, the shoot-down of a Syrian bomber and armed Iranian drone by US military fighter planes - all eyes have turned west to watch today’s special-election in Georgia’s 6th District between Jon Ossof (Dem) and Karen Handel

Trump Fires Lieutenant Secretary of State & Abolishes Russian Raconteur Department

WASHINGTON (AP) President Trump announced the dismissal of another Obama political appointee by tweet while visiting Saudi Arabia with his wife Melania and daughter Ivanka on Saturday. The tweet by Trump read “Can u[sic] believe Obama appointees? Malcolm Randolph worst Lt. Sec of State ever. Mismanaged Russian Raconteur Dept. Wasted taxpayer$$. Fired!!” At the same

This May be Satire: Declining Olympic Security Conditions Prompt Another Nation to Withdraw

Aug 16, 22016 Brazil.  After the recent security issues at the Olympics including muggings, the armed robbery of the US men’s swimming team and police admitting they could not keep visitors safe – another country has withdrawn its athletes from competing and has advised its citizens not to travel to Rio. On Tuesday the Islamic

This May Be Satire: Come to Jesus meeting held between Trump & RNC

August 12, 2016 Orlando, FL After what has been described as a “come-to-Jesus” meeting by RNC insiders, an angry Trump lashed out at his host to the campaign press pool before getting on his campaign bus.   “This Jesus guy, not a nice fellow,” Trump began. “Not a nice fellow at all. Said some unkind